Trials and Tribulations
March 31, 2008
I’ve been thinking about trials and tribulations lately. I’m not sure I really understand them. I kind of have an immature notion that a trial is when things don’t go my way, and a tribulation is God punishing me. I’m starting to get a sense that a tribulation is when God gives me an opportunity to trust him. These opportunities also give me an opportunity to test my faith.
I struggle with faith. I often struggle with the faith that others take for granted. I tend to test a chair before sitting down. I want to make sure it will hold my weight. I don’t like balconies much. As a small child I once climbed a pine tree in my sister’s backyard. It seemed like I was at the top of the tree, but in reality I was maybe 8 – 10 feet up. A gentle breeze came up and the tree swayed a little bit. I was terrified. I had no faith at all in that pine tree’s ability to stand against that breeze. I hung on tightly, afraid to move, until the breeze died down. Maybe a trial is a gentle breeze, sent by God, so we can check our trust.
Maybe a trial is a pop quiz, and a tribulation the test. When I face trials and tribulations, I tend to pray that I learn the lesson quickly, so the tribulation will end quickly.
Remember the Biblical account of the man born blind? The one Jesus healed on the Sabbath (John 9:1-3). He was in tribulation his entire life. His tribulation was there to bring glory to God. I’m sure he learned a lot in his tribulation.
So, where am I going with all of this? I want everything God has to give me. I have an earnest desire to be used of God. I am not sure, however, that I am willing to follow the path God leads me down in order to be used by Him. Would I be willing to give up my eyesight in order that God may demonstrate His power? For a day or two, maybe. But what about for the rest of my life?
I think God knows all of this. I think God has a plan that takes into account my cowardice, my lack of faith, even my ignorance.
For instance, I think the path God wants me to take was fairly flat in the beginning. Maybe even a little down hill. As I learn, the path takes a gentle upswing. The going gets tougher. Maybe I get some loose gravel or river rock in the way, and I have to pick my way through it gingerly. Soon, I get fairly confident in my ability to handle this trail. It gets a little steeper. Now it takes a bit of real effort to continue. If I persevere, I get stronger and the pace picks up. Now I have to go hand over foot for a while. Although it doesn’t seem that bad, I look down, and I’m up there. I get scared. I wish I had a lifeline. But I do. Jesus Christ is my lifeline.
I sometimes view my life B.C. (Before Christ) as a whirlpool, sucking me down. A spiral of damnation that I could not break free from. Then Christ pulled me out, and put me on an upward path. The path of sanctification. I sense that I can get off at any point, and sometimes I do. Higher, closer to God than ever before, but tired and needing (or thinking I need) a break. God will let me do that for a while. But I think he wants me climbing. So he allows my little plateau to get shaken a bit. Make me less comfortable where I am. I feel like if I cling to the present, to my situation too greatly, I will slide back into the whirlpool. I don’t want that. God definitely doesn’t want that. God wants me to get up, get off the plateau of complacency, and resume climbing. Right now, my plateau is my career. It is crumbling. I really like what I do, and I really want to hang on to it. But that is not to be. My choices are; trust God and move forward, or slide back into the whirlpool of doubt and lack of faith. I choose to move forward, into whatever God has prepared for me.
- Cliff
Wonderful day
March 23, 2008
What a wonderful church family at theRISING. Not just because I am there (ha ha). Easter service was very nice. It was a really good start for the day. Worshiping God with our people is amazing. There’s a ton of closeness with all of us packed into the main area of the church. Watching expressions on faces as we sing our wonderful songs. Knowing full well God is working in all our lives (even the children). By the way, I love having the kids worship with us. They will look back on it someday and probably want their kids to experience true worship as they are. Anyway, I really enjoyed our service today. The preacher really made some great points about us and God. His love for us, the sacrifice He made for us. Life really starting when you accept Jesus into your heart. Looking back on my short walk with the Lord I can see how the trust and faith I have in Him have grown. It is comforting to know that I will always have Jesus in my life to go to for anything I need. I feel fortunate to have a relationship with Jesus. I feel it growing stronger and deeper everyday. Such a great(free) gift that many think is silly or even weak. Easter means so much when you think about Jesus going through what He did. What a horrifying ordeal. Thank you Jesus.
Suicide
March 20, 2008
I had to deal with a sensitive issue today. A guy I work with; well, a guy who works for me, just found out his cousin had committed suicide. This is tough stuff. As a manager, I had to ask how close he was to his cousin. After all, “cousin” kind of stretches the “bereavement” benefit of our company. They were raised together like brothers.
As a friend, I wanted to know what on earth could cause his cousin to decide life was no longer worth living. I didn’t ask that question. I didn’t need to. My co-worker pondered the idea himself out loud. Nobody saw it coming. There were business concerns, but he had been in business a long time, and the concerns didn’t seem proportionately larger than at any other time.
As a Christian, I wanted to know if he was saved. Some believe suicide is a direct indicator that the person was not saved. Some believe suicide is the unforgivable sin. I don’t know. I know that my co-worker is not saved. I know his heart is breaking. I would guess that he feels his cousin threw away everything in a moment of weakness. I suppose he believes his cousin is now destined to become dirt.
I also imagine he is wondering about the purpose of life right now. He is probably examining his own life in light of the cousin he thought he knew so well. He is an “older gentleman”, even compared to me. I gather his cousin was of similar years. I think that one purpose of death is to remind us that we are not in charge.
Where is my courage? Where is my light? I was listening to a sermon when he called, and Tom Shrader was talking about being the light of the earth. “Christ was the light of the earth while he was here. He is in heaven now, so we are the light of the earth”. I should have shared Christ with him right then! But I’m his supervisor; I could be fired. Weak.
I love this guy. I did not realize it, would not have guessed it before his call. My heart is breaking too. My heart is breaking for him. Sometime in the next day or two, he will hear what the family has planned, and he will jump on a plane to Florida to lay his cousin to rest. Because it will happen over the weekend, he will send me an email rather than call me.
I have determined to send him an email, and tell him that with Christ, life does have meaning, and life does not end in a hole in the ground. I don’t want to use my words – they would be so inadequate. I want to find the right words in the New Testament. I want to gently turn my friend and co-worker a little bit closer toward Christ and saving grace. He knows I am Christian, but not much else.
Lord Jesus, please guide my friend to Your waiting arms. Please tell him, through me if that be your will, of the sacrifice You gave for him and for his cousin; indeed, for all us sinners. Please tell him that even though he is not deserving, as I am not deserving, Your love can cover our failure.
Amen.
P. S. I sent him John 3:16 – 18. I struggled with 18, as it mentions condemnation, and his cousin just committed suicide. But, somehow, John 3:16 did not seem complete to me without 17 & 18
